On a related note, I've chosen not to enable captchas for screen reader accessibility reasons. This means if there's a sudden influx of bots, I may need to disable comments entirely. Theoretically, Staticman is compatible with the Akismet spam filter, but I haven't been able to get it working just yet. I also plan to implement Mailgun reply notifications as soon as I can - nearly got it done for release, but I made a silly mistake, published my private API key to Github, and got my account temporarily locked down. Whoops. Next time I'll try not doing that.
That's about it! Enjoy. Just to reiterate, I would never have been able to set this up without extensive help from the guide above and the example code contained within. Thank you, Travis. May your crops grow tall and your code be free from bugs.